As I further awaken from sleepwalking, the messages in my head and what I experience in my surroundings are increasingly aligned. You would call it spooky or weird if you didn’t accept that with an awareness that we are the creators and the knowledge that we create our own reality that you can start to see how clearly everyone around you is just a mirror of you. Of the same creation, seen through your eyes as a design, just by you. People become transmuters of messages and reflections to aid in our growth, highlight things or simply to help you have fun and feel the connection you need.

On the day of the full moon, a day I always hold sacred with intention, the message kept coming into my head “Let go”. I sat thinking about this message and my mind quickly went into song. “Let it goooooo, Let it go-oooooo, cant hold on anymooooooore”. The lyrics running through my mind I thought about how poignant and true they are. How they are a message through our children singing on repeat, the innocent connecting through song and sending the world guidance.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care what they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go

Elsa, Disney’s Frozen

Anyone who knows me, knows about me and disney. Know all the words, will try and not sing them but kinda cant help it. Likely to cry and smile the whole way through. Will encourage you to watch and share the rollercoaster of heart warming emotions and messages that they bring. BIG FAN. Kinda feel like Giselle from Enchanted where I would happily sing through the forests and talk to all the animals but confusingly got dropped into concrete jungle reality I’m having to navigate my way home from. Anyway!

Since feeling super connected to the energy of the universe very recently, I have felt very present with my close loved ones who have passed. My grandad being one of them.

Whilst singing let it go in my head and reflecting upon the words it took me back to my last special moment with my Grandad, Bampa. My grandparents had spent a beautiful christmas period at my family home and I had a knowing that it would be the last time I saw him. He was sitting in the living room watching TV by himself an I went in to sit with him. We sat mostly silently in each others company watching the screen together. It wasn’t long before UP came on. Up is one of my favourites and the little old man in it has always reminded me of my grandad. Stoic, a little grumpy but deeply loving with his whole world revolving around his wife. He actually looks like him too.

For those of you who have watched Up you will know what a tearjerker that opening sequence is but I wouldn’t have expected my Grandad to be as visibly moved as he was. Through tears he said to me. “They don’t just make these films for little kids, they are messages for the grown ups”. We watched the film together, barely saying a word and sentimentally holding his words close. The my inner child with her favourite film and the grumpy old man move to tears. Sharing poetically and knowingly what would be our last moment just the two of us.

This message from my grandad came back to me as I sung Let it go in my head reflecting on the poignancy of the lyrics. Think about how many people in the world have been going round singing let it go from the top of their lungs letting it beautifully sink into their minds and those around them. How clever of DIsney in a world where we are fed fear and disaster to be reminding us what to do through the medium of song.

That evening I went to my first ecstatic dance which I was SO excited about. I couldn’t wait to let loose and have a proper move to the music. I have been missing dancing so much and unsure where to position myself within the party crowd. I have always been keen for a boogie before I have even had a sip of wine. Kinda wish there were morning dance parties – what a better way to start a day?! ! I have gone out a few times for a night out since going spirit free, mainly for the dancing and vibes. I have enjoyed myself but you do really feel the difference behind peoples intention to you a lot of the time. If others are there to sink drinks and get a bit out of their minds then you lose their connection and its time to leave. The last time I was out, I felt very strongly that I needed to find a new way to have fun. After all, I didn’t give up drinking to do what I have always done.

So ecstatic dance it was! I was excited to dance outside of my mind or kitchen with other humans. Prior to the dance we did a guided meditation where the mantra was.. no surprise here now.. LET GO! All the dots of messages started to connect within me with something that I have already really known for a while. About how taking ourselves back to how we were, as we begun, is where the true peace and freedom lies. How in some ways children really do know best. They know what’s important in life, have boundaries and understand that we need each other. The purity of being before all the unhealed ancestral patterns and generational trauma gets passed through unconsciously in nurture. Before a veil of un-being cloaks them into a trance of sleepwalking. Doing what they can to survive in a world that doesn’t make sense to who they were. And how they truly desire to be.

When we were children we looked at the world with awe and wonder. In the amazing newness of seeing things through eyes for the very first time. Like WOOOOOOOWWW with eyes wide amazement. The smallest things were fascinating and kept us entertained. And this is how I like to live my life. If you have ever been into nature with me, you’ll be aware of the joyful exclamation at the tiny details of my surroundings. Be it a tree, a frog, an interaction between creatures. There is so much beauty all around waiting to be appreciated.

And I believe that the more you appreciate things, the more you have to appreciate. I have done a lot of diving this past week. Diving is a form of meditation for me and one hundred percent a happy place. I love feeling like a fish submerged in their world and engaged in the minute details of their being. I also believe that the more you are aligned and serving your soul purpose in life with intention for the highest good, the more you can create magic all around you.

For me that was demonstrated by the experience I had on Sunday of diving with a baby whale shark. I have many memories on this magical island that I will be etched in my mind forever, and this is certainly up there on top. There were shoals upon shoals with fish upon fish of all shapes and sizes everywhere; rays, barracudas, nemos. And then there the beauty swims, encased in her cleaning entourage of remoras. So playful and inquisitive, swimming in and around the divers. A few times swimming right up to us. At one point as I was vertical underwater, observing her, she started swimming directly towards me. I reclined backwards as she glode over me, sillouetted by the sun shining in through the water. And I felt magic all around and in my heart. Like Disney films are real. And that there’s a whole world of awe and wonder out there waiting to come to you when you are ready to see it. When you choose to see the magic all around you, magic starts coming into your life.

There are so many realties outside of the confines of the walls of your imagination. There is a life beyond what you can even conceive filled with peace and joy if you only let yourself be open to it. I have to remind myself this regularly when fears and old patterns creep up in me. We stand in our own way so often in life and can be our own worst enemies. The magic moments are those to focus on, those to hold tight and appreciate with all your heart. Because life will happen, there will be times that will be difficult but worrying about them, preparing and ruminating isn’t going to stop them from happening. It will only take away from those moments that are truly gifts for us. There to inspire more of the same and show you that life can become better than your wildest dreams. You just have to let yourself dream until you’ve dreamt yourself awake.